It all started when I tried to save money online. I thought I’d use [censored] to book my trip because I kept on reading about how much money you could save by booking your trip online. Incidentally, I later found out that the price I paid for my flight was higher than the guy next to me who used his travel agent. Ok, so the flight wasn’t that bad, we had to fly from New York to Jamaica by way of Detroit, with a three hour layover, but you get what you pay for. Things went strongly downhill from there.

We booked the rental car online, and true to form there was no reservation for us. I played the Seinfeld bit for them, “You know what a reservation is, but you don’t know what it does! Anyone can just take reservations.” They weren’t amused, probably had a lot to do with my tone. Needless to say, I wasn’t either. Here I am, stranded in Jamaica with no car and no proof that I am supposed to have a car. As my wife contemplates her options (divorce/breakdown/yell/murder/think), she luckily decided on the latter, though I think it was a close call. She suggested we take a taxi to the hotel, and figure it out from there. It’s often a good idea to let a cooler headed woman figure things out. We get to the hotel, it’s dark, and we sleep.

The next morning, waves crashing, birds chirping, sea breeze blowing, not quite. Our luxurious waterfront hotel was luxurious, and it was even waterfront. Water=pond, and luxury, as I have come to learn is a relative word. To make a long story short, nothing worked out. We ended up taking cabs the whole week, and even to the beach once.